Many of our parents do not even have the parenting instincts of chickens.
On social media today I read about a dog saving her puppies from a fire. A few days ago I watched a chicken shepherding her chicks over a road.
On the same road there were some pre-school and young primary school age children throwing things at each other and on the other side playing among rubbish and scrub bush. I asked the people there if it was safe. They said they were afraid to walk on the road alone. I don’t think they saw the children in any real way.
I asked if it was safe for the children to walk to school and back on the road. They said that they thought they were escorted. But then why had I seen lone children walking on this road earlier? And where were the adults supervising the children throwing stones or playing in the litter strewn bush?
In another situation someone said she was very angry with her child because she came home after 10 at night. I asked how old the child was. ‘5 years old’. I asked if she had gone out to look for her? ‘No’. I said ‘if I didn’t know where my 5 year old was at any time I would have immediately gone to look for them’. Shrug, ‘she was next door’. Did you know where she was? ‘No’.
We have far too many parents who are too young, who have never finished school and are single parents at 15, 16 and 17. They simply do not have the emotional wherewithal to parent effectively. Add to this the fact that their parents were young and single too and the ability to parent is doubly further compromised.
Many of our parents do not even have the parenting instincts of chickens. It horrifies me. And then when a child is molested or raped or hurt in the street or hit by a car everyone else is blamed. I agree; our society needs working on. But parents who can take on no adult responsibility for their actions are toxic parents – dangerous to their child’s well-being and safety. Both their emotional and physical safety.
But those of us in the area of child care and those of us who are responsible adults must talk about it. We cannot hide behind ‘culture’ or decide it is just too big a problem. This kind of neglect is a form of abuse and we need to tackle it and challenge these parents over and over again to change this neglectful behaviour.